WINTER IS HERE AND KRISVELL'S DANCIN'

Ah, so much to talk about. The first being that WINTER IS FINALLY HERE!!! It's the weekend right now and it's beautiful outside. As I write this post it is Friday at 10:12 AM and according to my computer it's 75 outside!!! Last night we sat outside at the British Club to unwind after the parent teacher conferences (a whole 'nother story) and it was actually CHILLY after the sun went down. The wind was blowing, and it had to be around 72 outside but it felt like it was in the low 60's. When I first heard that the people bundle up here in the winter (when the temperature NEVER gets below 60) I about laughed my ass off. But now I can understand. Your body changes after living in such a hot environment. I don't know if my blood has thinned or what the problem is, but I felt like a fucking pussy shivering when it was in the 70's. If you were thinking about coming to see me, do it in the next few months. It is absolutely beautiful outside. I was driving around with the windows of the car down during the day without AC for the first time EVER since I've been here.

Alright, on to subject two. One of my good friends here who is (was) actually a fellow teacher (his room was right next to mine) got fired this week, two days before parent teacher conferences. We are still on our probationary period and they can fire us whenever for no reason at all--at least up until December 11th, when the probationary period is over. Now, this guy was a good friend of mine, but he wasn't a teacher. He was as new as I am to it and to be quite honest in my untrained humble opinion wasn't all that great at it so I know why they let him go. Even though I have been assured that I personally have nothing to worry about, it just came as a big surprise and has gotten me thinking that I may be next. We had a meeting and the next thing I know he's being escorted off the premises and being given a one way ticket back to San Francisco (that part is in the contract;). The shitty thing for him is that his wife is still employed here so he has to stay and basically do nothing. The good thing about that is that he has the money TO do nothing. But anyway you slice it I'm still nervous regardless of what the admin tells me. With him they waited until they found a suitable replacement and when she hopped on the plain to come out here they axed my friend without any warning. Speaking of the suitable replacement, I met her yesterday and she seems very nice. She's in her early 40's from Texas (I think) and is a former drill sergeant, which I think will help her to control the class she's taken over.

And number three, the biggie. Parent-Teacher conferences. Holy shit was that an experience, and that's an understatement. I met with 92 parents between 7-1:30. Amazing. To say I was swamped would ALSO be an understatement. I was nervous as hell in the morning, but some of the other teachers brought food and tried to give me some hints, so that helped. Speaking of the food, Arabic women are fucking pigs. One of the other teachers loudly announced to me in the lounge that I better get a cupcake while I still could because the Arabic people are like vultures. And she said it as loud as she could. She also told them that the meatballs and other platters had pork in them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But you know what? She was right about the vulture part. The Arabic staff brought nothing but came in and tore through that shit like they had never eaten before. I really, really, really don't like the Arabic staff. But what was funny was that Doug said the same thing happened at the high school. The school bought shwarmas (sort of like an Arabic burrito) for the staff and Doug said he saw the Arabic teachers taking at least a dozen at a time and stuffing them in their purses. Some of the other teachers I know didn't even get anything AT ALL to eat. One was so pissed she told the admin she was leaving to go get lunch to which the admin freaked out because she was leaving and hence ordered her lunch on the school's dime. Nice. So anyway, back to the conferences. So at about 7:10 they just started rolling in and never stopped from then on out. Out of the 92 sets of parents that I saw, only two tried to tear me a new asshole. One was a parent whose kid got a B and she thought it should be an A. She was bitching up a storm which to me was actually quite amusing but, of course, I had to keep a straight face. When she finally stopped, I looked at her and said "You know why Ahmed got a B?" Because he never turned in ONE homework assignment." She then looked at him and began to chew HIM a new asshole. By the time that parent got to Rachel (to do the same thing) the kid was crying. I felt sorry for him, but maybe next time he'll turn in his homework. The other parent was one whose son got a C (the whole report card was C's, by the way) and she thought he was an A student. That one was a little harder to control. She wouldn't accept that he wasn't doing the homework and that he didn't do well on the tests. According to her, it was MY fault that he was not doing the assignment at home. Hmmm.... Other than those two, it was fairly easy. OH, I got to talk to my first ninja! She was a tutor that came in with the mom, and both wanted to know what they could do to help the kid. I tell you what, there is nothing quite like talking to someone when all you can see are the eyes. Fucking freaky, I tell you. When they got to Rachel she took off the veil because apparently they don't have to cover themselves around other women. Bizarre. What happens if Rachel was a lesbian? But then again homosexuality is illegal here so nevermind. Anyway, most of my parents came in in the traditional garb wearing burkas (sorry Anna) and mandresses. A few of them brought their kids and some of these kids were wearing little man dresses which was mildly amusing to me. In school they all wear a uniform so it was different to see a 9 year old in a thobe. I had two parents come in with translators, and others that wouldn't make eye contact with me. I have been since told that it's not kosher I mean halal in a traditionalist's view for a man to make eye contact with a woman. Hell, I tried to make eye contact with everybody, and in retrospect it makes sense why some women would look anywhere but at me while they were talking. But you know what? I'm an American, the school prides itself on its American staff, and goddamn it I make eye contact. If you want a traditional school, go to one. Ours is not a traditional Arabic school. I learned my lesson earlier about extending my arm to a woman, and that I can respect (about half of the women extended their hand to me, by the way.) But eye contact something that I won't falter on. And something else I found amusing was when I shook the hands of the fathers. Some were obviously versed in the universal business handshake where you grip, give some good pressure, and give a few good quick shakes. You can tell alot about a man by his handshake. And let me tell you, there were some pussy ass handshakes. I really felt a few times that I might break a few hands. That wouldn't have been good. Another weird thing is when the parents would come in together either the mother or the father would talk to me. The other would stay a few feet back and keep silent. Weird. But all and all most parents were VERY nice, showering me with praise about how much Mohammed or Fatima loves social studies because of me. I was scared shitless at the beginning of the day, but at the end of the day it wasn't bad at all. Just very, very tiring. Talking to these parents isn't like talking to an American because they are all ESL as well. So some parents would understand what I was saying and others weren't, so I'd have to slow down and repeat myself in a different way. Just communicating with them was probably the most tiring aspect of it. But, the good thing is that I know many of these kid's parents now and secured the cell numbers of the troublemaker's parents;) And one more odd thing before I change rants. The majority of the parents that I saw had kids who got an A or A+. Very rarely did I see my F students. I went in thinking that those would be the ONLY parents that I saw. And the the F students that DID come in were very understanding. I had a nice, polished shtick that worked with almost all of the parents, even the F ones. All and all, I don't think I'll mind the next parent teacher conference.

Ah, the elections back home are over. And guess what everybody? My dad, who votes Republican, voted DEMOCRAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE THIS ELECTION!!!!!!!!
Holy shit, I say!! Everyone clap for Walt who finally saw the light! When he sent me that email I about fell out of my chair. Speaking of the elections, I am so fucking happy that America and Ohio finally woke up. Let's hope that the dems can do a good job and get us the fuck out of Iraq, leave Iran and North Korea to their own devices, and fix the economy and everything else that Bush ass raped. I hope some serious investigations are started come January. It's about time. And on a final note, Josh is OK. If you would like to know more, email me and I'll fill you in.

Oh, and one more thing. I FINALLY GOT MY HEALTH INSURANCE CARD!!! This is the first time I've had health insurance since college. I've been uninsured for like 4 years. Fuckin' A! And, the best part, the school bought the optional coverage allowing me to be covered in the states for up to 60 days! Rock on...