Filipino Christmas presents

Josh's fuck buddy/part-time girlfriend Filipino nurse Grace gave us wrapped presents for Christmas and since it wasn't quite Christmas she told us we weren't allowed to open them until Christmas. So, naturally Josh and I opened them as soon as she left--and were shocked. You can obviously see the "what the fuck is this?" look on my face in the pic. I'm not even sure what these are--and frankly, we don't know if these were joke gifts OR if she truly had good intentions OR if she hates us. We can't tell because her English isn't good enough to discern what she is saying. Amazing. Oh well, at least I got the duck and not the chick.