I made a boo-boo today

I knew it was going to happen eventually. Last period of the day, I became naturally very thirsty, and what did I do? Crack open my Pepsi while the entire class was reading. Man, I've never seen so many heads turn in my life by hearing that "SSSSSSSSSTT" sound as you open a pop. And, what's worse, I took a chug before I realized what I was doing. Of course, I had to apologize profusely, etc etc etc. Talk about embarrassing, holy shit.

You know, you can leave comments

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I AM NOT making fun of the culture here...

Much, anyway. To those few that have said I'm mocking the culture--I am. But not nearly as badly as you might think. Contrary to popular opinion, Bahrainis DO NOT HATE AMERICANS. Let me repeat that. BAHRAINIS DO NOT HATE AMERICANS. In fact, we are one of the most highly respected people here. The only American that they hate is GEORGE W. BUSH. And I hate him too, so we're equal. The middle east, and Bahrain in particular, is NOTHING LIKE WHAT THE MEDIA PORTRAYS IT TO BE IN THE STATES. There aren't people spitting on us as we drive by, or people yelling insults. In fact. I've been told by many locals that Bahrainis love Americans because generally we bring the most money to the economy. For example--we tip, locals do not. We (excluding Military) tend to hold higher prestige civilian positions, and they know that. Americans don't come out here for the fun of it--usually. I've met so many Americans that have been out here for 20 plus years and have never, ever had ONE problem. Are there shady neighborhoods here? Sure. But there are parts of Columbus that I won't go into for fear of getting shot. I have never, ever felt that way here and I've been in almost every part of the island. There are a few neighborhoods were they would like to remain more traditional (i.e. sans western influence) but I live in one of those neighborhoods. Hell, we are the first white people EVER to live in this village. And you know what? Everyone here has been nothing but extremely kind and welcoming--even though they'd rather see less of a western influence in their homeland. Sure, there are parts of their culture that I hate, just as there are parts of American culture that I can't stand. I hate how Ramadan is forced on everyone here regardless of religion, but I also hate how the religious right in America has forced their bullshit agenda under the veil of the republican party. I hate how women here are denied rights that we in the states take for granted. But I hate in the states how we denied (and continue to deny) the rights of poor people, people without health insurance, etc. EVERYONE in Bahrain has access to health care. EVERYONE is guaranteed housing, most of which is equal to or better than the neighborhood I currently live in. Sure, I might poke fun or rant about what I hate here. But I've also ranted and raved about what I ENJOY here. What you are forgetting is that I did the same thing back home. It's called an opinion. And again contrary to American media driven belief, they WILL NOT IMPRISON ME for ranting. Hell, there was a protest yesterday where over 5,000 people showed up to protest against unfair naturalization. Did they all get arrested? Hell no. The island would be in utter chaos. They are not going to even bat one little eyelash at one American's take of their culture on his blog. If anything, a Bahraini might get on here and see things a little differently. Maybe he'll realize that throwing your trash out your car window ISN'T socially or environmentally acceptable in other parts of the civilized word. And maybe that one Bahraini might tell his family, and so on. So obviously, I am very much aware of what I should and shouldn't do here. I shouldn't go out in public wearing a bedsheet. I should be allowed a little release in the privacy of my own flat with my friends and be able to do that. So before you lecture me with your ignorant views of this culture, come out here and see for yourself what it's REALLY like. Then, if you think I'm doing something stupid (and I never said that I don't occasionally do stupid shit) let me know. But please, please, please do not tell me what is wrong and right if you do not know what it is like here. There aren't people running the streets with AK 47's. There aren't bombs going off--anywhere. There ARE very friendly, loving, good natured people here. There is a culture of diversity, much more so than the states. I have noticed the only people that are sending me those types of emails are those that have NEVER left North America. I have not received ONE email from someone that's been here telling me I'm wrong for my sense of humor. That's case in point.

Hood rich? Spend it

So what's the first thing we do with the money? Go to Gold City, that's what we do. I've never been there, and it was bad ass. If you are looking at gold, silver, etc they weigh whatever you are looking at and then convert it to a price using the day's price of gold. Very interesting. We encountered this dude in the pic at a shop he called "the happy store." He caught our attention and we all bought various things from here. The hospitality of these people here in this country is amazing, by the way. While we were looking through his small but insanely cool store, he brought us Arabic coffee and later water and pop free of charge. Rock on, happy man.

20 Dinars=$53 US

Yeah buddy. And that's a big, big stack of 'em.

Hood rich

So then we took our cheddar and... spent it on bills. Damn, just like America. At least we could pose with it for a minute...

I'm all grown up...

25 years old and nowhere to go but up. This is my first paycheck here in Bahrain. Thank god, by the way. I was down to less than a dinar by the time payday came around because it's only once a month. Also, keep in mind that 1 BD=$2.65 US.

Mr. Byron is a mean teacher

So here they refer to teachers by the first name. I'm Mr. Byron, not Mr. Gunter. Weird. Anyway, this is how I do my pop quizzes. The kids come in and stare at this all period until I give the quiz. I love it.

Dude, that's a clean car... COVER

We were leaving for school Thursday, and as we hopped in the car I spotted this dude. It's extremely common to see Indian guys washing peoples' cars in the morning, but NEVER have I seen someone washing a car COVER. Wow...

And if that wasn't enough...

To drive that proverbial nail in the panties, pose holding your uber-gay Madonna CD. See that look on her face? That's the "come give me some, you Madonna lovin', catfish catchin' fool!"

Boys, this is how you woo a woman

Show a picture of you catching a fish while wearing the same shirt that you were wearing a few years ago catching the fish while your buddy takes a picture of it. That's a sure-fire way to get in her pants.

HOLY SHIT

So both Scott and Josh have hidden secrets that both came out the other night. The first, and most important, is that Scott actually went and PURCHASED Madonna's Immaculate Collection CD AND BROUGHT IT HERE. I can possibly see owning it--maybe if you're gay--but owning it AND bringing it to Bahrain AND having the balls to put it on in front of your buddies????? Either he's way metro or has HUGE balls. I would say he's gay, but he's proven that he's not a few times to us. And, what's almost equally disturbing is Josh dancing to said Madonna. Goddamn, I moved to Bahrain with a bunch of fags!! (No offense to the gay community:)

Scott's a cross dresser at heart

And here's the photo to prove it. Apparently at his last teaching gig in Kansas he dressed as a whore because the kids raised x amount of money. From what I hear the administration wasn't too happy. I would highly, highly, highly suggest NOT repeating that here, Scott-o.

Scott and Winnie

So Scott found this Indian girl--Winnie--at the British Club and invited her over (or did she invite herself?) Either way, Scott's doing the Frankum on her with these pictures.

Women can never be equal to men

And that's the star letter to the GDN. My favorite section hands down of the GDN is the letters to the editor part. This one was a few days ago, a letter in response to someone saying that women here need to have more rights, etc etc. This guy proceeds to say that "we don't need your type of cheap freedom" and "women have never been and will never be equal to men." I assure you that the next two weeks of this section of this paper will be devoted to people debating this letter. The previous two weeks were devoted to western v Bahraini driving styles. I love this country.

Sensationalism

Again, same paper, same day. One of the reasons I love the GDN is for the sensationalism of it, Arabic style. This article was about an Indian woman who was told to intentionally fall down stairs or jump off of a building to kill her unborn fetus. And the person telling her that? Her sponsor, the person who brings said person here from another country to work for him/her. This country is fucked up when it comes to the lower classes, that's for sure. It's like a modernized version of slavery. And, this type of article is far from uncommon in this paper. I've seen variations of this story dozens of times. My favorite so far was one where the sponsor had his maid arrested because he found birth control in her room. BIRTH CONTROL.

And here's another shitty part of Ramadan...

Out of the same paper, same day. An Asian dude was ARRESTED and fined BD 50 (132.50 US) for smoking in public during the day during Ramadan. It's even illegal to CARRY a bottle of open water, let alone consume it. Fuck that! I'm in trouble...

There are a few postive aspects of Ramadan

And deals are one of them. This pic was taken from the Gulf Daily News (GDN), one of the few English daily papers here. Gulf Air--for Ramadan--cut ticket prices from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi, Dubai, etc to 9 BD ($23.85.) And that's just one of MANY deals that places offer in reward for you starving your ass off during the day for an entire month.

Filled with raging...hunger

So we finally ended up gathering our last 10BD or so (payday was still a few off) and going to the grocery store. LUCKILY it was open. Considering we had to stretch our bills, we bought cheaply and in quantity. Eggs seemed to fit that bill, and here is Scott cooking about 10 of them around 4 PM. Mind you, this was the first time all day that both he and I had even SMELLED food, let alone have consumed any. Hence the crazy look in his eyes...

Garlick?

So as I was rummaging around to find something, ANYTHING to eat I found this container of Garlic. Or Garlick, as they so phonetically put it.

Josh is an asshole

And of course the only food in the house was Josh's Velveeta shells and cheese--which he promptly made in front of us and then decided to lick the bowl clean whilst Scott and I wilted away in a state of pure, unbridled hunger.

Ramadan Fucking Blows

So if you've read ANY of my previous posts, you know this month is Ramadan. Well, this picture is of Scott on our very first day of Ramadan. This is roughly 1 pm, and he's frantically searching the phonebook to find ANY restaurant that is open. We found NONE. We had no food in the house, we all were EXTREMELY hungry, and no fucking restaurants were open. We have since found out that there are 2, maybe 3, restaurants that will deliver during the day (Domino's pizza being one.)

Good way to end the night

And the perfect ending to a party night in the middle east--a cop going past our building. Cops rarely come to this neighborhood unless they have been called. I think they were looking for us, to perhaps make a statement to the infidels out drinking and having a good time on the balcony

Case in point

Doug passed out on the couch WAY early.

The party crew

So we went from "having a couple beers" to having a full fledged party in about 15 minutes. This is toward the end of the night. From left, me, Adel, Gina, Josh, Scott, and Kate. I assume Rachel or Krisvell was taking the photo. Doug was passed out on the couch at this point.

Middle eastern gangstas

This is one thing that you CAN get away with here--throwing fake gang signs.

What?

This is another good one. Our deck extends around to this window, Josh isn't just floating on air. Although it would be cool if he was.

See Nate?

See Nate? Just like home. That's why you need to come out here...

Although this one is pretty damn good too...

This can't be legal here:) Those sandals we got free with the Jager purchase, but are too small for our big man feet. If there's anyone here that wants 'em (we have at least 2 pair) lemme know. Oh yeah, and the facial expressions here are pretty good too...

Probably my favorite pic

So I've taken close to 1000 pics since I've been here (of which I've posted maybe 400), and this one of Gina probably is my favorite picture. I love how the smoke is dissipating. Great, great photo. Good job, Byron.

Exhale

Exhale...

Inhale

Inhale...

Josh shakin' his groove thing

Or belly thing...

Camera happy

It's rare to get Rachel in a pic because she hates to get her picture taken, but when you do get one of her it's usually pretty good, like this one here.

Tryin to sneak one in during the flash

Kate and I, me being about 3 shots of jager into the night... can you tell? It only gets worse:)

Slayin' the dragon

Slay that dragon, bitch! I said slay it!

Kate

Kate. Looking like Kate.

Who's bigger?

I don't think we really had to verify. Everyone knows white guys have bigger dicks. :) And for the record, there was no exposed genitalia at the party.

Who's hand is this?

Who's hand is this? I recognize mine to the right, but I don't know who is taking the picture. If you recognize your hand, lemme know. Also, notice Rachel, Ms. "I don't do shots" doing a shot. Kate, on the other hand, thinks we are all crazy. And we probably are.

Gina likes to pose

What kind of face is this?

Ms. Kris

Awww, how cute.

Gina and I

Couple of monkeys, we are...

Keep 'em coming

So I'm just gonna post some pics of the party. Hope you don't mind. Those in the pics, feel free to steal them. This one is of Kate and Rachel.

Good times

Can't get a picture like this in the states, that's for damn sure. Good times...

Adel, smokin'

So there is something to be said for having your thobe (=mandress) wearin' landlord come up to your party and smoke sheesha. In fact, he brought us a bottle of gin that he got in U.A.E. as a welcoming gift. Gotta love this guy. He even has an empty apartment on the first floor of our building that he uses as his "party flat." Notice Krisvell behind him. She digs mandresses.

You can be killed for shit like this here...

Holy shit. I can't believe I did this. And what's worse, we were expecting Adel, our Muslim landlord, to show up any moment as we were taking this pic. And sure as shit, just as the flash went off the doorbell rang. I don't think I've ever run that fast in my life anywhere as I did back to my room to throw that bedsheet off of me.

We had to kick the girls out...

Shamsu won't dance around females for religious reasons, and I wanted a pic of him dancing really bad. I kicked all the girls out to the deck, and Shamsu made me close the curtains to get him to pose for this pic. But man, was it worth it. Nothin' like being in the middle east getting your Indain watchman to kick females out and dance during Ramadan for the camera.

Gotta love the Indian watchman

This is Shamsu, our Indian watchman. He came up to see our party, but wouldn't partake in the boozing because he is one of few Indian Muslims observing Ramadan. This guy has our back. He not only washes the car for 10 BD a month, opens the door for us, cleans our deck, takes out our trash, but is also our local community liaison. A good guy to have watching your back, that's for sure.

And this is why people come here

Welcome to Ramadan. The shittiest month of all. You cannot buy booze AT ALL during the entire month, so what do we do? Stock up on booze and have a impromptu Ramadan party. Here's the beginning of the night with Kate, Doug, and Rachel at our party.

Rachel on the comp

Rachel on the computer stealin' our internet... is that all our flat good for? A wireless internet connection? Surely there has to be more. Lets examine what we are known for in the following pictures...

Scott shows all

So I have found that the underline issue only happens AFTER I upload the photo. Either way, the U button for underline is non-existent. ANYWAY, here is Scott in some very, very short running shorts. He had the balls to go run around our neighborhood in these. He's lucky he didn't get hit with an RPG. Holy shit, man! These are questionable in the states, let alone here!

Ramadan stock up

So Google Beta sucks. I can't find a way to turn underline off. This whole beta version blows, and I want my old version back, but I would assume it would take me 3 days to get it back. Fuck.

I apologize

I KNOW MY BLOG WAS DOWN. THANKS ALL YOU ASSES WHO YELLED AT ME. DON'T YOU THINK I WAS AWARE OF IT? JESUS CHRIST, CALM DOWN. Ok, now that I have THAT out of my system, here's why it was down. I switched to blogger beta, thinking the conversion would be instantaneous, or at the very least only a couple of minutes. How I was wrong. 3 days and 2 emails to google later, I'm back in business. So sorry about the delay. I went through with drawl as well. On with the posts...

Added the flags

So I changed the format a bit. Lemme know what you think and post a comment on this. Should I leave the flags or take 'em down?

Lookie what was in the news today..

From the AP wire. This is where I'm from, by the way.

COLUMBUS, Ohio - A car dealership's planned radio advertisement that declared "a jihad on the automotive market" has drawn sharp criticism for its content but will not be changed, the business said Saturday.

Several stations rejected the Dennis Mitsubishi spot, which says sales representatives wearing "burqas" — head-to-toe traditional dress for Islamic women — will sell vehicles that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back."

"Our prices are lower than the evildoers' every day. Just ask the pope!" the ad says. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies." A fatwa is a religious edict.

Dealership president Keith Dennis said the ad does not disrespect any religion or culture. He said it was "fair game" to poke "a little fun at radical extremists."

"It was our intention to craft something around some of the buzzwords of the day and give everyone a good chuckle and be a little bit of a tension reliever," he said.

The Columbus chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations decried the ad as disrespectful.

"Using that as a promotional pitch when so many are dying from the criminal activity of suicide bombers, that's not funny," chapter president Asma Mobin-Uddin said. "I don't think it's appropriate when it causes real pain. It exploits or promotes misunderstanding in terms already misunderstood or misused."

The ad, written and produced by the company, will begin airing next week, although he was uncertain of which radio stations had accepted the spot, Dennis said.

Double WTF? Actually, I heard a funny story about this stuff. One of the fellow new teachers, Frank from San Fran, thought this stuff was booze when he went to the cold store. He was very disappointed, to say the least. Very wierd tasting soda, that's for sure.