Fuck It Ahmed, FEATURE!

The latest fuck it Ahmed, it was a piece of shit anyway feature post is brought to you by the smashed-ass Mercedes that has been sitting like this down the street from my house for about 2 weeks. For around 4 days the license plate light was on, now the battery finally died and someone managed to pop the trunk up since I took this photo. Ah, I love this country.

Shampoo(ing) and douche, all in one! (Grocery Store Goodness Post!)

And today's FEATURE post pretty much speaks for itself.

Does your hair need more volume? Could you really go for a refreshing douche? Kill two birds with one stone with new and improved Ushara!

Puck your cream cheese!! FEATURE!!

I've decided to do two features here at byroninbahrain.com, inspired by Polony (if you read, you know.) Anyway, one feature is of food that I see at the grocery store, and the other is of smashed up abandoned cars scattered everywhere on the island. The frequency to which I post these features is obviously contingent on when I go to the grocery store or when I see a totaled car next to the road. Either way, both of those things amuse me to no end, and I hope they do the same to you. If they don't, I really don't give a shit. It's my blog.

Up for the virgin feature grocery post is a medley of photos I got a few days ago when Rachel dragged me to Al Arosa grocery store (cause lord knows I don't cook and would never go to a store like that on my own volition:).

Here's the lowdown on each pic (for the visually challenged or for those that don't share my sense of humor)

Pic #1: POT noodles--with mushrooms (whoa!) or sweet and sour (Chinese pot!)

Pic #2: The 4-wheel-drive cart that is prevalent at most, if not all, of the grocery stores here (notice how all 4 wheels are facing different directions.) A really good idea if you ask me. An even better idea if I was 6.

Pic #3: Burger with Arabic spices. That's all fine and dandy until you notice it's from the "Americana" brand. Right.

Pic #4: My favorite. Halal chicken with the all important logo--a sword with chickens. For those that don't know, see the next picture for what halal means. If you really look closely on the package (i.e. click on the photo) there are two phrases that amuse me. The first is "slaughtered by hand as per Islamic rites" and "This product is not derived from animals which were fed by meals produced with animal proteins and/or animal residues." Animal residues? Who feeds chickens shit? Or is that where the phrase "chicken shit" comes from?

Pic #5 Halal chicken drumsticks. Halal is a slaughtering process where a certified Muslim (the qualifications for that are beyond me, sorry) kills an animal using a certain process. I dunno. Either way, Muslims are not allowed to consume non-Halal meat, and I get a kick out of various companies touting how their meat is more Halal than the competitions. Take this photo, for example. "Slaughtered by hand without stunning as per Islamic rites." Stunning? Like a taser?

Pic #6: Puck cream cheese spread. Enough said.

Fuck it Ahmed, it was a piece of shit anyway. FEATURE!!!

There is a huge phenomenon here in Bahrain that I really don't understand. Apparently when these people get into accidents, they leave their cars wherever they may lie and let the forces that be take care of them. I've driven by cars that have been completely totaled next to the road everyday for weeks. So I've decided to start a new feature here at byroninbahrain.com, called "Did they die?" Wait... that sounds too insensitive. How about "Piece of shit of the week!" or "The insurance wouldn't take care of it so fuck that car" or "I was drunk when I hit him so I took off on foot!" I dunno, I'll think of something. Anyway, up this week are two cars I've been driving by for the last week. The first is a Camaro that has been moved from the point of impact (I think) but is still next to the road, presumably next to the owner's house. They have done something you don't normally see with wrecked cars in this country--they have attempted to preserve the interior from UV rays with a bedsheet. Here's a hint guys, for that to work effectively you have to cover the ENTIRE windshield. Well unless the driver's side is covered with the shade of the airbag and blood--in which case they should be golden.

Up next is a car that has sat near a very busy intersection in Juffair (where I live) for over a week. This seems to have been a simple accident, but for whatever reason the owner has yet to claim their Chrysler. Maybe the alignment was out...